« November 2009 »
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30
You are not logged in. Log in
Ritagail's Refuge for Moderate Catholics, exAsperated Aspies, Creative Mystics, and Reluctant Hermits
Tuesday, 7 October 2008

I've decided to use this site for my more serious poems/essays. 

My husband and I will celebrate our 30th Pearl Annivesary on November 1.  I wrote this Sept. 13 of this year.  He likes it. 

If you want to read what's been happening/journey with my characters, don't forget to view/read at http://ritagail.posterous.com (I started posting there because it's msntv friendly in posting images.)

******************************************************* 

A Wife's 30th Anniversary Prayer

I was 17.
Freeing myself from the violence
Of Home,
But never really left.
You were 21.
Freeing yourself from the grief
Of Home,
But never really left.
Those first few weeks and months
We were too giddy with the
Stupidity
Only Youth can have,
Even in the ice and snows
Of North Dakota's winds.
We were going to make a Happy
Home,
But, we didn't know--
Oh no, we didn't know.
The prejudices of families and
Alleged church people
And even the alleged "open"
Society...
Not open to us.
Not open to our love.
And so, both of us having the
Audacity
To survive the hatreds and violences
Of our childhood graves,
We were plunged into the nightmare
Of "Thirty Years' Poverty--The Movie",
While good fine upstanding
Family members and
Church people and
Successful Society
Gawked on in their prim and proper lives.
I WANT to tell God to
Shove
Himself and His
Alleged family,
And Church people,
And Oh So Diverse-Lovin' Society,
So far back into Hell
That maybe they can all come
Out
The other side
Purged, renewed, as Flames of Love
In the Candle of Life.
But, for Charity's sake,
I am forbidden such an indulgence
Of my outrage
Over their trampling on our Love.
And so,
Knowing that only Poverty and
Failing Health and
Old Age await
Us--
If we live that long--
I beg you to be my eternal friend,
And, that in the Resurrection...
For Jesus surely owes us one...
In the Resurrection
We will find each other
Through tears of eternal rest.
I'll be the one dressed
In Phoenix feathers and pearls,
Having lived through the fires of this Hell
On Earth,
Having made luster around
The cutting edges of those
Diamonds of hate.
My Beloved Husband in this hopeless strife.
My Beloved Friend in eternal life.

 


Posted by ritagail at 9:25 PM CDT
Monday, 15 September 2008
new blog link

Because of the way I have to e-mail photos, rather than upload them (from my msntv), I have started a blog at posterous.com.  Please join my characters for a new journey here:  http://ritagail.posterous.com/journey-to-the-king-day-1

I'm not sure if I'll be using this blog or not.  I may post updates of the journey here, but, last time I tried this, it didn't work.


Posted by ritagail at 10:43 PM CDT
Updated: Monday, 15 September 2008 10:47 PM CDT
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Prayer when you're just plain danged "wrong"
Well, as Catholics, we ain't spozed to say "Yahweh" anymore, or sing it, because it offends some of our Jewish neighbors, which, in their behalf they have been maligned more than most folks.  However, in addressing God in the following poem, I realized that, by not using "Jehovah",  I'll probably offend my Jehovah's Witness neighbors, of whom some of my relatives and the Pope's cousin are among.  And, if use the word "Jehovah", I'll offend certain rabid Christians and several Jesus only persons.  So, if you dare, put whatever word you want to use for the Almighty Over Us All Humans Ain't All There Is Creative Spirit (meaning Whom we are addressing) and pray it along with me:

LORDGOD:
I'm sorry.
And, I'm not even sure what I'm sorry
For.
Just have this general sense that I'm
Wrong.
Wrong wrong long wrong
Oh so very wrong.
I'm sorry.
In Jesus' Name
I pray.

Posted by ritagail at 10:42 AM CDT
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Creatively Breaking a Chair (poem)

Creatively Breaking a Chair

What a wonderful thing
To be creative
It's such a joy.
I'd been anticipating
For weeks on a fabric project
And, Oh Boy!
Finally all the elements were in place.
And, let me tell you,
I desperately needed this grace.
After the old printer went down,
I dusted off an even older one,
Bought a new ink cartridge...ok...
Bought chemicals to soak fabric...double ok...
Soaked and dried the fabric according to plan,
Then, after dealing with the parish
Bull-
etin and ministry schedule merry-go-round,
I leisurely ironed my treated fabric.
Let me tell you, that muslin was smooth,
The smell of the iron, the feel of the glide,
The anticipation of printing and quilting
Images from my own little mind...
Bliss.

What's This?

Very little ink on the test page.

Impossible--it worked only the other day.

Eventually, ink went from near-none to nil.
Disbelief and Dissapointment, words never will
Describe what I was sensing at the time--
I screamed.

Hubby entered the room just in time to see
My water bottle sailing through the air to the far wall--
Didn't even have the decency to break.
"It doesn't print?" ventured he.
"No, not at all."
"Don't they have the cartridges at Wal-mart?"
Wrong thing to ask.
"No You Idiot!!!" came out of my mouth at last.
He went safely to his room leaving me to deal
With myself, my printer, and the whole cast
Of Wonderful Creative Projects that now never will.

After several more minutes and futile attempts,
Into beloved hubby's room I crept.
"I'm sorry I called you an Idiot," I say.
He simply said, "That's ok."
I continue to explain the details of what it takes
To get the ink and how much and how now I'll have to wait...
Again.

Calmed down a bit,
Glad I hadn't thrown even more of a fit,
I go to the computer and trustingly sit.
And THAT'S when the chair did what the water bottle would not--
Break--
Throwing me awkwardly to the floor, producing a quake
Of other things falling on top of me,
Again I scream, and hubby came running to see.
My hand hurt but I yelled, "I'm ok!"
He helped me up, and, after some ice on my hand
I was able to say:
"Now...that chair breaking that way just isn't right,
If I'd have known it was going to go,
Could've at least thrown it at the printer with all of my might,
Then both out the window to give the neighbors a show!"

(Ah! the creative life is such bliss.
That's why hubby stays in his room, quite safe from all of this.)

 

(In case there is any doubt, meself wrote this.  --rgcb)


Posted by ritagail at 12:04 PM CDT
Friday, 4 July 2008
Let Us Pray. Let Us Change.


I live
In the United States of America.
Today,
People will celebrate
Noisily
Our rebellious separation
That we call the pursuit of happiness.
I'll give my nation credit for this:
When it comes to having a
Party,
Especially one where noise and powder dust
And food and drink and power lust
Abound,
We unite.

The majority of us, not all.

And so, I reflect this day:
I live in a country
Di
Vi
Ded.

I live in a country where great opportunities abound,
But also where despair and poverty may be found,
Sometimes a mere few blocks away
From where wealthier persons gather to pray.

I live in a country that prides
Itself in promoting equality,
But also in a country that hides
That equality is in appearance only.
We may be getting past the colors of skin,
But not the colors, cuts, and tags of the clothes we're in.

I live in a country reportedly
Class-free,
But also where I'm judged by the shoes on my feet,
The car I can't afford,
The non-existent hairstyle,
And the lack of medical card.

I live in a country with military might,
Nobody can outdo our young people in a fight,
But also where peace takes a back seat to war,
Where our young people come home
Not sure how to live any more...
Proclaiming them "heroes"
We don't listen to what they really know.

I live in a country where education is touted,
But also where creativity is only acknowledged
After suffocating obstacles are surmounted
(Some die under all the pressure,
Their creative works destroyed, lost, or,
Sold
At outlandish prices--after their death).

I live in a country that worships technology,
But also where farmers' grandchildren
Are forced to leave fields--hired out to profitable companies.

I live in a country that trusts in God,
But only the
Right
God.
And which One that is, we can't seem to agree,
Not even among Righteous Christianity.
Yet, we look on in horror when Muslim kills Muslim,
Not realizing we kill each other's spirits
Daily.

I live in a nation where we
Unite
By sleeping in severe denial,
Awaking only briefly in communal trials,
While Reality is left to we poetic souls
Who are told to
Shut
Up
With our tales of woe.
Yet,
Secretly, we all suspect
What the poet writes is closer to
True,
And, we are worried about the future
Fireworks
That may explode
Among those of us who live here
Under the Red, White and Blue.

 


Posted by ritagail at 2:40 PM CDT
Monday, 23 June 2008
St. Paul, Gospel, Resurrection

(Scripture quotes are from the New American Bible, copyright held by Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, at least, that's what it says in the front of my Bible.)

If you've read some of my ramblings, you know that one thing that breaks my heart is the question of what to do about (to put it delicately) Christians who act in less than a Christian manner, doing things to promote themselves in the Name of Jesus Christ that appear to be no more than worldly business tactics.

While reading Philippians, help arrived from a very unexpected source, St. Paul.  Yeah, the guy whose writing is used by the overwhelming majority of Christianity to lock in their versions of rules and regulations.  The guy who got struck down blind by the Resurrected Jesus Christ and ended up writing letters that Christians have since used to divide themselves over anything and everything.  In Philippians, he's sitting in prison, and he writes these words, emphases are mine: 

"Of course, some preach Christ from envy and rivalry, others from good will.  The latter act out of love, aware that I am here for the defense of the gospel; the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not from pure motives, thinking that they will cause me trouble in my imprisonment.  What difference does it make, as long as in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is being proclaimed?  And in that I rejoice."  (Chapter 1, verses 15-18)

It's a good thing I was sitting down when I read this, because the reading of it hit me with a spiritual force.  Here is St. Paul, the greatest evangelist the Church has ever known, the Fireball of Heaven, admitting that others are preaching Jesus for their own gain, even admitting they might be doing it just to hurt him personally, and, Dear Neighboring Cellmate Paul, as I've come to know him, basically says, "Let them."

What???!!!

Paul!  What about Justice, what about Truth, what about Scandal and people who get their hearts broken and their faith crushed because of these persons who claim to be Christian, even Christian leaders-be they lay or ordained?

Paul quietly says, "Let them be."

As I was arguing this point with Paul, I remembered Jesus' teaching on the Tares (Weeds) and the Wheat.  That parable is Matthew 13:24-30.  Jesus says that the landowner tells the workers that the enemy has sowed the seeds of the weeds among the wheat, the workers themselves are not responsible.  When the workers ask if they should pull up the weeds, the landowner replies, "No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them.  Let them grow together until harvest, then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, 'First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning, but gather the wheat into my barn'."

Jesus echoes Paul's remedy:  "Leave them alone."

Why?

Evidently because the removal of persons who seem to be working for their own gain may hurt the Church.  Disillusionment comes to mind, as I've personally had to work through that, more than once.  But, it's also possible that God's mercy is awaiting persons who preach God's Gospel to convert before they leave this current life, in hopes that they will not condemn themselves in the next life.  And so, God's Mercy on both the faithful and the self-indulged requires that both grow together in this life...in this Faith.

Jesus knew that this was going on in our "parent" religion, Judaism, and, Paul tells us that it was already present in the first days of Christianity.  And both Jesus and Paul teach us to leave it alone, keeping our eyes on Jesus, not on the sins of others.

This can be a very hard teaching, particularly if we are in places where our leaders are openly flaunting their desires to pursue their own visions of religious glory on the face of this earth, on this side of the Resurrection.  But, if we are to allow God to develop our maturity in the Christian faith, it is a teaching we must ask God to help us understand and to give us peace within ourselves with it.  (As well as pray for the conversion of us ALL.  And, this doesn't mean that we won't struggle, deal with anger, and, especially with heartbreak/grief.)

Of course, I'm guessing from both Jesus' example and Paul's, there are times when we are to express who and what is less than God's example for us.  I'm specifically thinking of St. Paul in 2 Timothy 4:9-18, where he names the names of persons who have done him wrong.  I don't think Jesus and Paul are telling us to simply roll over and play dead, so to speak, I DO think they are telling us that this is going to happen, that our Faith will always be infiltrated until the End Day, and that, with the full knowledge of this, we are to confidently walk in the Faith towards our Resurrected Jesus Christ.

Resurrection.  Why am I using that word so much?  Back to Philippians, where Paul says he is in prison for his proclamation of the gospel, I asked myself, What did Paul consider to be the gospel?  Immediately, I thought of "death, burial, resurrection".  Yes.  "God loves us."  Yes.  But, what was it Paul considered to be the gospel?  I started getting an idea from reading more of his prison letters, and then I read the accounts of his defenses in the Book of Acts.  While it appears that part of the reason Paul had irritated the Jewish leaders was that he had proclaimed Faith to non-Jewish persons (Acts 22:21-22), when Paul gets to court he states that he is "on trial for hope in the resurrection of the dead" (Acts 23:6). 

While it appears that he may have said this to pit the two main rival groups against themselves, one group believed in resurrection and the other didn't, personally I think that would be trivializing the resurrection as the main reason for Paul's defense.  Later, in Acts 24:10-21, Paul makes it very clear that he is on trial because of his faith in the resurrection, and, in Acts 26:1-23, Paul relates his experience with the Resurrected Jesus, ending with:  "But I have enjoyed God's help to this very day, and so I stand here testifying to small and great alike, saying nothing different from what the prophets and Moses foretold, that the Messiah must suffer and that, as the first to rise from the dead, he would proclaim light both to our people and to the Gentiles."

Immediately, he is proclaimed "Mad".  Usually, we are told he was in trouble because he allowed the Gentiles in to the Jewish community.  That might be a legitimate reading, but, as I'm reading many Scriptures together, it seems to me that if this would have been their main complaint, something would have been said in the little discussion afterwards among the noble persons, including King Agrippa saying to Paul, "You will soon persuade me to play the Christian."  (Acts 26:28)  As I read it in light of other Scriptures, Paul is in trouble because of his proclamation of the Resurrected Christ, of a resurrection for us all, of his conviction that this life is not all there is, that there is a hope of life after the grave.

What does it mean to believe in the Resurrection?  DO we believe it?  Truly? 

Jesus says to Martha (John 11:25,26):  "I am the resurrection and the life, whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?"

Do we believe this?  Or, is it simply a verse of comfort to be read at a funeral?

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:12-19:

"But if Christ is preached as raised from the dead, how can some among you say there is no resurrection of the dead?  If there is no resurrection of the dead, then neither has Christ been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, then empty (too) is our preaching; empty, too, your faith.  Then we are also false witnesses to God, because we testified against God that he raised Christ, who he did not raise if in fact the dead are not raised.  For if the dead are not raised, neither has Christ been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is vain; you are still in your sins.  Then those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished.  If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are the most pitiable people of all."

And then comes verse 20:  "But now Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep." 

I suggest reading the rest of chapter 15.  One verse that is frequently taken out of context to prove Christian "victory" over many material things and persons is verse 57:  "But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  That verse, in my loud mouth opinion, should never be separated from the preceding verse, 56, because it is towards the end of Paul's discourse on resurrection, the two together state that Paul's "victory" is God's resurrecting power over death (brought on by human sin):  "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

There you have it, the gospel isn't about rules, regulations, liturgy, dress codes, social justice, etc.  It is about God's Love to humanity in becoming one of us and destroying the power of sin/death by giving us a resurrected life after this one.  This life we now endure, sometimes painfully, is not the "end".  The Church can never build a glorious empire, even if it is for God, on the face of this planet, this side of the Resurrection.  We sometimes forget that, and need to be reminded.  The Good News isn't in this lifetime, it's in the next.  (Although, it begins in this lifetime-you can see why Paul had such a hard time wording things and perhaps felt like he was foolish in the many words he used.  It's a concept that is difficult to express.) 

WHEN we become firm in our knowledge, hope, and faith, of Eternal Life, we then attempt to live in a manner pleasing to God with as much energy as we can in this current life.  Even if that means allowing others their lofty goals of building their own vision of Eternity in this life. 

This may be the dividing line between Faith and Religion.  Faith sees beyond Death to Resurrection.  Religion can see life only as living currently on this side of Death. 

I suppose that human existence requires some balance of both.  That's probably the hard part.  It is, perhaps, even where religious/political warring takes place.

May God grant us unity in God's Resurrection.

 


Posted by ritagail at 2:12 PM CDT
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Is it Asperger's?/Our Society/Churches

This is a kind of "houscleaning" essay.  I will try to keep it brief.  It repeats a few things that I've written here before.  I am also cross posting it to the site where I have my poems about Asperger's.

The past several months I have found out more family information about the time period when I was very young.  If you've been reading my blog, you know that I re-evaluated the scar on my lip and the story that proved I wasn't normal.  I won't write specifics here, but, I now know that during the time when a very young child is developing language and social skills, I was "cloaked" in an effort to protect my Mother and I from my Father.  Unfortunately, the two of us returned to him and his problems became our life.

And now, as a grandmother watching my grandchildren grow, without the fears and stresses of motherhood, I realize much of what I encountered was due to core family problems and isolation.  And being left alone to survive such a life.

I am so grateful for those times when I was able to be around my grandparents, both sides, especially my paternal grandparents' farm, but also my maternal great-grandmother's indoor plants and her salt and pepper shaker collection, and her not insisting that I join in the adult conversation.

I write.  I read.  I suppose in these days' standards, that in itself is going to become a marker for being too internal, and, therefore, suspect to being on the autistic spectrum/Asperger's.  We are facing a time when anyone who is more "thinker/scholar" than "social" is going to be slapped with a label.  Maybe that time is already here. 

And, the question is, is this really autism/Asperger's, or, is it merely the development of our society towards verbal speech/entertainment and outer appearances as the desirable (and only) way of being human?

I've been reading a book about Emily Dickinson and her gardens.  I can't recall the exact title now, but if I remember right, the author is Judith Farr.  (I'm at the library typing this and the book is at home.)  While I am not the perfectionist she was reputed to be (although others say I am...trust me, I'm not...before I can get the minute detail perfect, my interest/focus times out), we seem to share similar traits--including her family being embarrassed by her.  One of the author's suggestions in the book I'm reading is that Emily had a realization, around the age or 28 or 29, that she was a poet, and that's when she began writing with more purpose, although in her lifetime she was more known for her gardening.

Well, I was going to write that if Emily Dickinson is Asperger's, then I guess I would be too, forgetting that she is included in the list of famous Asperger's persons.  I just did a search "emily dickinson asperger's" and a whole bunch of articles arrived.  Here is one, use the "find" function to see her name and a few others:  http://www.aane.org/about_asperger_syndrome/what_is_asperger_syndrome.html

Well, that kind of messes up the rest of what I was going to write...how it is society and churches that need to change and accept those of us who are more internally driven, which I believe, but, I thought her name wouldn't come up in the "list".  I don't know why I forgot that.  Probably because she seems more normal to me than the "normal" people who keep trying to tell me there's something wrong with me!

Hm.  Well, I guess this could solve my dillemma of if I should take advantage of programs/services for autistic/Asperger's persons.  Aintcha glad you're reading this???

Don't worry.  I too have accepted that I am a writer, mostly poet(ess) and I am writing myself into a contented poetic state that rivals the most beautiful gardens....as well as trying to grow a few plants in these Oklahoma rains, drawing, and photography.

Thanks for reading.

I wrote this without benefit of a spell checker, so please disregard any errors.

 

 

 

 


Posted by ritagail at 10:12 AM CDT
Thursday, 29 May 2008
Mary poem cycle
In some traditions, May is the month of Mary, Mother of Jesus.  It ends with remembering Mary's visit to Elizabeth, called the Visitation.  I started this cycle of poems while pondering the Spirit, Pentecost, and Mary being present with the Disciples as recorded in the Acts of the Apostles.  Unlike some converts, a sentimental tender view of Mary has never developed for me.  I guess it's safe to say Mary and I aren't "close".  Tomorrow, we remember the Sacred Heart of Jesus, something that HAS developed as a sentimentality for me.  If you read the last poem, you will find that I was surprised while writing.

Some of you may be offended by this poem cycle.  Traditional Catholics may think I have "humanized" Mother Mary too much.  Non-Catholics may think the opposite, that I've placed too much emphasis on her.  I apologize to neither extreme.

I am "quick posting" these on my blog.  They may find a more permanent home on my site later.  For now, if you wish to share, you can use the "permalink" found at the end of the post.

Thanks for reading.

*************************************
Morning After

And so,
Here I am.
I said,
"Let it be...
According to God's Will"
For, am I not Jehovah's
Daughter?
But, daylight seeps
All around me-
To Whom did I say
"Yes"
?
O God-
What have I done?

*************************************

Confirmation

Cousins.
So many.
How do we keep track
Of who married who
On whose side-
"O Yes," the women nod,
"That's right, she married him
And he was the son of her
And she was the daughter of him
And they lived down there
Over the way,
Until they had to move,
Wasn't that a shame,
And then they lived for a long time
With no children
And now there are rumors..."
Will Elizabeth ever know
She has this cousin Mary?
Door ajar-
"How is it that the mother
Of my Lord comes to visit me?
Blessed is she who
Believes."

(last quote from the book of Luke)

*************************************

Fears

But,
Elizabeth-
Joseph.
What do I say to Joseph?
And the wedding,
There will be no grand
Wedding
Now.
Hushed wedding.
Whispers all over town.
O Elizabeth,
What
Will I say to Joseph?
"Nothing.
In your silence
God
Will speak."

*************************************

Two in Starlight

Joseph?
Are you disappointed?
Joseph?
Did I hear-
Singing?
Choruses, no, I must have been
Delirious
From the birthing.
Joseph?
Is that the donkey
Or your whiskers
Nuzzling my hair?
Joseph?
Were there shepherds here?
Joseph?
Oh-
You're holding the baby.
I was afraid
You were gone.

*************************************

It Begins

How quickly
Joy
Can turn to
Sorrow.
I bring my baby to the Temple
Offer him to God,
Everyone has to hold him,
Some declaring him Messiah.
Messiah!
I can't enjoy the smallness of
His little fingers and toes?
The way his eyes focus and follow,
Oh, yes, the older women tell me that
No
Baby can focus and follow this early
In life,
But my little Jesus does.
Yes, you do.
Oh my little son,
Who
Are you?

*************************************

Continuum

In Nazareth,
Joseph has set up shop.
Egypt-I was
So
Glad
To leave Egypt.
Back among our own people.
Talk.
Unceasing talk.
About the Romans,
About the corrupted officials
And priests
And divisions over teachers.
No more
Talk
Of stars
And shepherds
And secret emissaries from afar.
Look at Jesus
Mimicking Joseph.
Please, God,
No more night visitors-
Just let me soak in
The jabbering
Of my people.

*************************************

Mother Knows

Do you know
How frantic I've been
Trying
To find you?
Searching for you?
Calling your name?
Your father-Joseph-
He can barely talk,
His throat so raw
From calling your name.
Jesus!
What did you think you were doing?
The Teachers!
What is more important, your family,
Or,
Making an impression on the Teachers?
Let them impress themselves.
Is this what you were born for-
O Son!
The way you look at me.
Yes, I know.
Soon.  Too soon, you must take your place here.
But not right now.
Come, Joseph is waiting for us.

*************************************

Joseph Departs

Silence.
Such silence.
No more pounding and scraping, and
Talking
Of how to fit one piece of wood
To another
And how good the grain feels,
How it becomes a miracle
From tree to useful vessel.
Silence.
There should be wailing.
Even Jesus is silent.
Too silent.
My heart fears for his
Silence.

*************************************

Waters

I knew this day would come.
I've known since that
Day
In the Temple.
In silence,
Jesus wandered off
To find
His cousin John.
John was never the same
After
His aged parents died.
Kept to himself.
Started preaching and baptizing
Ranting like a madman,
They say.
Jesus sought him out.
On this day,
Nothing
Will be the same.

*************************************

Nudging

Look at him.
Still broody.
Thinner.
He and his cousin
And that wilderness of theirs.
That wildness of theirs.
A wildness unnatural to young people.
Yet all too natural to God.
Son, they have no wine.
"So?"
You come to a wedding party,
You've stepped into a new wilderness.
Now,
Continue what God sparked in you,
Or did the waters of baptism
Flood out that flame?
(Such a look my son gives me!)
Do whatever he tells you.
Silence
Will soon be
Broken.

*************************************

Empty Nest

Teaching.
Always the
Teaching.
And debating.
And healing.
They say.
I wouldn't know.
He traded his silence
For wandering words
Of fulfilling his Father's will.
Will
He come home
Again-
Ever?
What have I done?
Again,
O God,
What have I done?

*************************************

Angel-less Night

So it's come to this.
And will they still call out
"Messiah"?
No.
My people
Have always turned quickly,
One extreme to another.
But so do the Romans,
I hear,
Killing each other over
Power.
Turning,
Always turning on each
Other.
Look at the men fleeing,
Scattering.
All terrified.
Where
Are their miracles
Now?
Where
Is my little Jesus
Now?
Where
Is God and His bright angel
Now?

*************************************

Music Fades

There, there,
My son.
It's over.
You were announced.
You lived.
You laughed, cried, sang, danced, shouted, taught, healed-
Died.
"Come, Mother,'
John tells me.
I can't.
I must hold him.
He's still warm.
I must wipe the blood,
O the blood.
His heart
His dear gentle fiery heart.
So still.
Silence-
Again.
I'm so weary of this Godly silence!
I'd scream
If I could.
"Come, Mother,"
John tells me.
I look back.
Such silence in his
Heart.

*************************************

Private Scene

What.
Who's there?
Not another angel!
John!  John!
"What's for supper?"
How can this be?
"Isn't that what you asked
The angel
Some thirty-odd years ago?
Mama,
It's me."
But,
I was there,
I saw you,
I held you,
There was blood,
So much blood,
You died,
I know,
A mother knows these things,
You died.
"Yes."
But-how...
"God and I are One.
Haven't you listened to me?"
Well, maybe if you'd come
Home
To your mother more often,
Maybe if you'd stay for supper
Once
In awhile
Instead of running off to some
Wild Place to...
He laughs.
O, he laughs!
It IS
Him.
No one laughs like my
Jesus.

*************************************

Another Beginning

He told me goodbye.
Asked me to be with them
On the feast day.
As if they would leave me
Alone
Now...
They think of me as some
Relic.
"Can we do this for you Mother?"
And,
"Please let us do that for you Mother."
God takes my son and grants me
Such a
Glorious
Grace of being the esteemed mother of them all.
Sigh.
And now, we've all been burned.
"Filled with the Spirit"
They call it.
Such shouting and jubilation!
It will all change to
Silence
Again, I'm afraid.
But look at them now-
"Can you feel it, Mother?"
They ask me.
Yes, I nod,
Knowing the fiery Spirit
Will be needed to
Blaze
Jesus' message through thousands
Of tear-stained pages and years.

*************************************

Presence

And now it is time
For my silence.
They gather around me
Singing,
Weeping,
Praying.
"Mother, don't leave us too."
My body is worn out-
No, don't call Peter-
John, where's John?
Stay by me.
Don't revive me.
Let me go to where the angels sing
Around a throne
So bright only my little lamb, my-
Jesus!
And there he is again,
Whispering,
"Mama"-
What is this my eyes behold?
Am I dead
Or
More alive
Than before?

*************************************

What Mama Asks

My children,
You still call to me.
Somehow,
God lets me hear you.
God has let me visit
At times
To speak to you.
But, are you listening?
When I tell you to pray to my son
Jesus,
Do you listen?
Is it Him enthroned
In your hearts?
Do you still not understand
That Jesus
And the Father
And the Spirit
Are One
And that He calls you-
Begs you-
Into the same
Oneness
With Him,
With each other,
Within yourselves.
My children,
You cry to me,
But you can never be
Fulfilled
Until you rest in
His Sacred Heart-
The only Heart that burns
With a singular flame
Of love for you.

*************************************




Posted by ritagail at 10:44 PM CDT
Monday, 5 May 2008
Pics of green moth

Am at the library, have just enough time to post this.  Dont' know what kind of moth it is, but it's gorgeous.  Was on the side of our garage yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Posted by ritagail at 1:29 PM CDT
Updated: Monday, 5 May 2008 1:30 PM CDT
Friday, 2 May 2008
Holy Spirit Novena--Pentecost will be here soon

Holy Spirit Novena resources

Pentecost is May 11.  A novena to the Holy Spirit is praying for nine days prior to the feast of Pentecost, which would start today, Friday, May 2.  And, no, you do not have to be Catholic to pray such a thing.  In fact, I invite all of us to pray together during this nine/ten days to beg God to pour out the gifts and blessings of the Holy Spirit on and into us all.

Here are two websites for a novena:

Holy Spirit novena:

http://www.jesuslistens.com/holyspirit.html

St. Edith Stein's beautiful Holy Spirit poem:

http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/novena/Stein_spirit.htm


(St. Edith Stein was a Jewish convert who died in the Nazi concentration camps.  Her name as a Carmelite nun was Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.  It's at EWTN, who I know can sometimes come across as superior to others in their views, but, the poem is really beautiful and I think it's a good one to spend time with in prayer, and, it's good of EWTN to have it on their site.)


Posted by ritagail at 4:30 PM CDT

Newer | Latest | Older